Run Away
by Tweek Tweekers
Summary: I'll never regret running away - Bebe.


Wouldn't it be nice to just run away?

I'd love to just walk out my front door and keep going without ever looking back. I'd love to forget about everything in my past and pretend nothing bad has ever happened. I'd love to leave my rundown, fucked up life once and for all.

I'd **never** say goodbye,

I'd **never** apologize

and I'd **never** regret it.

I'd just keep walking with my head above the clouds and my dreams filling my head.

All my mistakes would be erased. All the people I met would disappear. All my memories would fade away. I could be me again. I could live my life to the fullest without anything holding me back and without anything standing in my way.

Everything else would be forgotten.

I could retreat to a safe utopia… One where I wouldn't have to put up with the screams and fights every night, I wouldn't have to listen to my father stumble in drunk from a late night of partying and cheating to come home and beat my mother. I wouldn't have to sit there and be forced to listen to her cries and his yells. I wouldn't be forced to lock myself in my room, hold myself and cry because nobody else was there to help me.

I could retreat to a safe utopia… One where I wouldn't have to withstand the useless arguments and cold words that my peers pass in the halls. One where I wouldn't be judged for my past and my mistakes. I wouldn't have to deal with envious girls and degrading men. People wouldn't mock me and taunt me as I went down the hall, they wouldn't utter cruel words.

I could retreat to a safe utopia… One where nobody remembered what I've done. One where nobody knew of the things I've done to gain acceptance and find love. One where nobody knew my sick attempts to find someone that cared. They wouldn't know that I've waited on silent corners for my prince charming to come find me, when all it was, was white trash hicks who wanted a quick blowjob. They wouldn't know that I was left on streets after I was used up. They wouldn't know that I cried for hours feeling dirty, feeling worthless, feeling used up.

I could retreat to a safe utopia… One where all my scars and self inflicted pain would disappear. The marks on my forearms would clear up and fade into nothing. The pain that came with the scars would fade and my self conscience wouldn't even remember ever partaking in such self pity. My mind and soul would be cleared of all the pain, no marks would remain, nothing for me to stare at and remember.

I could retreat to a safe utopia… One where I'd find myself beautiful. One where I would be able to look in a mirror, stare back at my reflection, and be happy with what I see. One where I wouldn't hate the image and would embrace it. I wouldn't note all my flaws and I wouldn't hide who I was. I could take off my mask and eat what I wanted because I would still be happy with who I was.

If there was such a place where my family actually cared about one another, where my friends didn't lie and put on fake personalities, where I could find someone to love me and not use me, where I could stop abusing myself out of self pity, where I could love myself. Well, then, I'd go in a heartbeat.

I'd walk out my front door and never look back.

I may know where to find that place…

I stare at the blank door, I examine it for one last time. I take a good look. Then with one final breath I turn the knob slowly and creek the door open. I only stare at the world outside the door for a few moments before I close the door for the final time. Then without another look I walk.

I just walk through the dark surrounding me. I can't see anything, I can't hear anything, I can't smell anything, I can't taste anything, I can't feel anything but I continue to walk.

I walk for what feels like hours on end until all my senses come back to me. I hear beeps, honks and a man screaming for me to move. I see blinding lights coming straight for me but I don't run away. I smell gasoline and dirt, a dispicable mixture off aromas. I taste blood spitting out my mouth, choking me. I feel a whiplash of pain.

And then nothing.

Because now I see my sanctuary. I hear the angels calling my name. I smell flowers and all that is nice. I taste freedom and life. I feel happy and safe.

In the hands of god and in the boundaries of heaven,

I'll never regret running away.


End file.
